Jade Goody has PR cancer

I have to admit when I first saw the front page of the Sun today with the “Jade Has Cancer” headline, I immediately thought “that’s bound to be PR cancer, not real cancer”. This thought suggests one of two really quite disturbing things.

Firstly, this means I am so deeply cynical that I am probably far beyond normal help. Abandon hope all ye who enter, is definitely scrawled on my bathroom door.

Secondly, the symbiotic tabloid reality phenomenon has hit a new low in a desperate attention seeking bid by Jade Goody and her publicist Max Clifford. Jade Goody apparently has had previous scares, and had undergone hospital tests earlier this month after her third cancer scare. It followed “four mystery collapses”.

Clearly these “collapses” common to many minor celebrities, girl band members, footballers and hangers on are what most of us would call being very drunk/benders/or “off your head”.

But in tabloid speak these are always called “collapses”. You know, as in “Sarah Harding collapsed last night outside the Met Bar”. Sarah is apparently now all okay. Phew.

Anyway, I digress, despite having these tests, Jade Goody still flew to India (who does that?) and went on the Indian version of Big Brother, partly to show she’s not a racist for her disgusting performance on last year’s Celebrity Big Brother.

She probably isn’t a racist in the way that many working class people are not racist, they are simply deeply, small “c” conservative. It’s called working class conservatism.

The flying, the stress, the cameras and the cancer and off she goes tottering along into her latest reality vortex. She has hardly been in the Indian version of Big Brother, called Big Boss, and she is called into the Diary Room and told she has cancer ushering her onto the front pages of the tabloids.

She is now flying home. “Jade had some tests recently, then she went off to India to appear in the Indian Big Brother,” Clifford said. “Yesterday we got a call from her consultant to say she had cancer of the cervix and so she has to come back straight away.”

Okay go on tell me I am beyond help. It’s okay really.

Didn’t that other fellow traveller, Kerry Katona, surely Jade Goody’s soul sister, have a similar thing? Doesn’t Max Clifford handle her PR as well?


  • http://markgriffiths@idealword.co.uk Mark Griffiths

    PR is PR (what do you expect?) but cancer is cancer. Gordon, this is one you could have avoided. You’ve tried to add post-cynical irony to your piece, but it doesn’t wash. Several minus points to you, I’m afraid. You should know better.

  • Sarah Vernon

    I had a rather similar thought last week, after seeing in all the tabloids and glossies about Jade’s mystery collapses and whatnot. It was something along the lines of ‘I wonder if all this illness talk is their way of creating a cover story for when Jade begs to leave Indian BB after five minutes.’

    The cynic in me says that suffering from a life threatening illness is likely to get the public back on Jade’s side (it worked for Jordan) but as Mark says, cancer is cancer and I doubt (and hope) even Max Clifford would stoop low enough to fake it to get his client some sympathy. In which case, poor Jade – cancer’s no picnic and I wouldn’t even wish it on chav scum like her.


    PR cancer – sounds like something Prentiss McCabe might come up with in an episode of Absolute Power.

  • 1718927

    Max Cliffords wife died of cancer and I believe he has prostate cancer

  • http://www.seanie.info Sean Ruttledge

    2 members of my immediate family are terminally ill with Cancer


    I stand squarely behind Gordon on this one

    Get a sense of humour and STFU you politically correct dullard numpties

  • 1718927

    Not sure where the STFU comes in to this? The point I made was as MC has been closely affected I would have thought he would be unlikely to use the subject in such a cynical fashion – could be wrong though.
    Like you – and many others – my family has recently been affected by Cancer, losing a family member.
    Tell me I’m a dullard if you want – don’t tell me to get a sense of humour about the subject. Each to their own.

  • Susan Billinge

    Its all very bizarre – Very strange that she would choose to tell the world on TV before she had the chance to talk to her loved ones – It must be incredibly upsetting for them. Who cares when there are ratings to consider though, huh?

  • http://www.seanie.info Sean Ruttledge

    Absolutely, don’t tell me Clifford wouldn’t stoop so low after some of the spin we’ve seen spun out from him, I remember those poor poor Hamiltons being arrested for allegedly raping one of Mr Cliffords “Clients” BASE ! how low can you go? I remember working in an office on North Wharf Rd W2 next door to him and seeing his toe sucking clients in the flesh

    As regards people taking offence at Gordon for DARING to say what most of us THINK…. I’ll be the first to pat Gordon on the back and remind you all that OFFENCE IS TAKEN, NOT GIVEN and in an ever more PC world where the thought police and a reluctance to “offend” over-sensitive numpties limits free speech, I applaud Gordon for ability to say the words he truly feels (….and not the words of one who kneels) *LOL*

    Once again, well said Gordon

  • http://markgriffiths@idealword.co.uk Mark Griffiths

    If ‘most of us think’ this way, we might as well give up on our humanity now. I’m ashamed to say that you, Adolf Ruttledge, are part of the same humanity as all of us. If, knobcheese that you see to be, you think it’s OK to fire off your considerably large and insenstive mouth about a subject like cancer, just because you don’t like Jade Goody, then I fear for your mental health. PC, my a**e! It’s easy to speak our minds. Look around you – it tends to make the world a wonderful place, doesn’t it?! When will you people wake up and learn to treat people with the respect and humanity you expect to be treated with? Or is it beyond your pathetic PC-blaming intelligence?

  • http://www.seanie.info Sean Ruttledge

    You call me Adolph Ruttledge, Ignore the fact that my mother is in a Cancer hospice, then you DEMAND respect ?


    FACK ORF to your “wonderful place” you dim witted humourless dullard